Submitted by SAFE San Juans
Living in the digital age can have many rewards, such as being able to instant message, share photos or videos, or easily keeping in touch with friends and family. Technology has given us remarkable capabilities to connect worldwide. However, there is a darker side to our advancing technology that is not being talked about nearly enough; digital dating violence.
Digital dating violence is when someone repeatedly controls, pressures or threatens the person they’re seeing or dating through the use of their cellphones or online accounts. An alarming study conducted by the Associated Press and MTV with an online panel of youth (14-24) found that 41 percent of respondents who were in a relationship had experienced some form of digital abuse and nearly one-quarter (24 percent) said they always or sometimes felt that their partner was constantly pressuring them to check-in by e-mail, phone calls and/or texts. It can be difficult to determine appropriate online behavior when in a dating relationship. Below you’ll find some useful information to give you a better idea of what healthy online boundaries look like in relation to your dating partner.
First of all, whether you are using social media networks, texting or email ask yourself how comfortable you are sharing personal information? What are your digital boundaries? Do you want to post your relationship status? Is it okay to tag you in a photo or video? Are you comfortable sharing devices and passwords? These are all great questions to ask yourself before you choose to make your relationship digital. Remember that everyone has a right to privacy, sharing passwords is not a requirement of being in a relationship. All communication online or off should be respectful. It is never okay for anyone to say or do anything that would lower your self-esteem, make you feel bad, or manipulate you. If your partner is telling you who you can and cannot be friends with or follow on social media, using social media to keep tabs on you, or is sending or asking for unwanted explicit photos or videos, you may be experiencing digital dating violence. Above are just a few signs of digital dating violence, you can learn more online from websites such as loveisrespect.org and thatsnotcool.com.
February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness month and there are many ways for teens and parents to become involved. Parents, talk with your teens about relationship rights and boundaries. Be informed about available privacy settings accessible through most social networks that allow the user to control how their information is shared. Encourage your teens to speak out about digital dating violence. Websites like breakthecycle.org are user friendly, full of great information, and are active on social media networks such as Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.
If you would like to get involved locally, we at SAFE San Juans, would love to hear from you. Our mission is the prevention and elimination of domestic violence and sexual assault through victim services, education, community awareness, and cultural and social change, and we know that strong community partners are key to this work. You can contact SAFE San Juans on Friday Harbor at (360)378-8680, Lopez Island at (360)468-3788, and Orcas Island at (360)376-5979. If you or someone you know may be experienceing dating violence contact our 24/7 crisis lines at: Friday Harbor: (360)378-2345, Lopez Island: (360)468-4567, or Orcas Island: (360)376-1234.
