“So what happened?” Kirsten Kraushaar was asked. “One day you just looked across the table and realized it’s always been him?”

“You know what?” she replied. “It was. For me, it was totally like that.”

Brad, her now-husband of 27 years and the person she was talking about, agreed with her recollection.

“She called me up and said, ‘Can I come over?’” he remembered, describing the phone call from his then-friend and coworker of eight years. “And I knew. I just knew.”

Neither of them expected this turn of events because Kirsten had only dated women up to that point in their friendship. They even attended each other’s weddings – to other people.

“It was so nice when we first met because she was dating women and I didn’t have to play the game of, ‘Does she like me? Does she not?’” he laughed. “We were just super good friends and worked together and there was no hint of anything.”

The two met as staff at a court-order shelter for youth in Minnesota. It was the beginning of a long road of working together while helping and advocating for the underserved.

“I got a better job working with homeless kids and runaway kids, and I recruited Brad to come with me because I thought he was malleable,” Kirsten said with a twinkle in her eye.

“I WAS malleable!” Brad interjected. “Thank God.”

“We taught all the racism and homophobia out of this boy,” she laughed. “He had all the makings of a positive white man.”

Eight years of friendship, working together, babysitting each other’s kids and moving from organization to organization together – Kirsten suddenly realized that maybe there was more.

“I have a very good memory of the day that I decided I would go on a date with him,” she smiled. “It was very sudden for me.”

The pacing of their story moves from the tortoise to the hare at this point. After eight years of friendship to an overnight realization there may be something there – Kirsten got pregnant within a week.

“We had to figure out what to do,” Brad said. “We had to make our decision – what are we going to do?”

“We really believe in the power of choice,” Kirsten agreed. “Having that choice, making that choice, it made us better parents.”

They had to decide. They’d been on one date but had known each other for years. Did they want this? Was this their future?

They’ve been side-by-side ever since, and now with three daughters and a grandson.

“We’ve been across this country,” Kirsten said.

“Through the WRINGER,” Brad added.

The two have lived in a lot of states and helped a lot of people. In 2016, with one daughter left at home, but on her way out, they bought a bus and started their next adventure. Which ultimately led them right to Lopez Island.

“We bought an acre here,” Kirsten explained. “We love it.”

“And we’re still in the bus!” Brad chimed in. “A 1978 Wanderlodge! With no running water!”

They have a faucet they can walk to and haul their water, and a bathhouse at the neighbor’s that they can use to shower and do laundry. Kirsten works at Compass Health as a counselor and Brad, retired with a bad back, spends most of his time weaving bracelets and working on the property. His bracelets can be purchased in town at the boutique inside of Soot & Bone Body Art Studio or by emailing Kraushaarbrad@gmail.com.

It’s a happy, slow life. They don’t need much, and they never have.

“We struggled with poverty a lot because of our job choices,” Kirsten said.

Brad – always the peanut gallery – quipped in the background: “Helping people doesn’t pay!”

Undeterred, Kirsten continued, “I feel good about how my daughters have been raised because of it. Their values are excellent. I feel like being close to poverty was character-building. I mean, it was brutal. But we were so creative.”

“Right, we were,” he laughed. “One time, we both were out of a job, and we decided to just pack up and move to Costa Rica for a year.”

They both quickly acknowledge the difficulty of the road they’ve taken, but ultimately wouldn’t change how it’s gone for them.

“Our friendship is what has made this work,” Kirsten said. “It’s the only reason we could stay together through all of this. We were friends.”

“Super good friends,” Brad agreed.

“It’s an old story, I think, but it’s true,” she added. “If love is built on friendship, it can go a long, long way.”