This is part one of a two part series about DVSAS, their advocates and future plans for the prevention
By Cali Bagby
For the last six years, Suzi Marean carried around a black pager, and when it went off she jumped into action — whether at noon or 1 a.m., she was ready to pick up the phone.
“They are often crying and scared,” Marean said of her callers. “And feeling fear, betrayal and guilt. We really try to calm them and make sure they feel they have us to lean on and then help them make sense of their feelings.”
But over the years the lightweight pager felt like a pile of bricks on her hip.
“I did grow weary of being the only one on Lopez to answer calls,” she said. “The weight of the pager got pretty heavy and then other times I forgot it was there, but it was always in some corner of my mind.”
Marean has been a community advocate and the sole advocate on Lopez for the Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Services of the San Juan Islands. She was on duty 24 hours a day, receiving a majority of calls between 10 p.m. – 1 a.m.
Sometimes months would go by without a single call, while other months brought in constant pleas for help.
Now Marean has handed the pager literally and figuratively to Kim Bryan. At her retirement party in December, Marean carefully enclosed the pager in wrapping paper, tied it with a bow and presented it to her successor.
“It was good symbolism handing it over and it was an incredibly wonderful feeling of relief,” said Marean. “I didn’t realize how heavy it was until I handed it off.”
Bryan worked as a pediatric nurse for 16 years and was the director of a domestic violence shelter in Spokane for 10 years. She moved to San Juan Island about a year ago to work for DVSAS. She and her husband plan on moving to Lopez this month.
“My heart has been here for years, now the rest of me is catching up,” said Bryan, who often vacationed on the islands.
Bryan will serve as Lopez’s sole domestic violence and sexual assault advocate as well as the prevention coordinator for all three islands.
How do advocates deal with the stress?
When Marean needed to take time off, she would take the batteries out of the pager and leave it at home. And she has learned to feel the emotions of an intense situation without falling into the trap of fixing every problem — her job has been to provide support, not necessarily a solution.
But some things were difficult to de-stress from like the hyper vigilance she felt knowing that a call could come in at any time, or any day, and never knowing who was gong to be on the other end of the line.
Once Marean received a call from a sexual predator calling just to harass her.
Bryan said she has learned to not take work home — her faith and small things like gardening and exercise help her to feel healthy. Sometimes she just tells herself to look up at the madrona trees and water lapping against rocky shores to feel relaxed.
Read more about these advocates and DVSAS in next week’s edition.
